What a lovely burden…
I was busy…too busy. After months of slowly healing from burnout, and finally starting to feel better, I had slid back into old ways. It started a couple months before with the addition of ducks to our family. They needed daily cleaning, watering, feeding, time out of their pen and overall care. That in itself was a big change. We had a dog, but she was older and except for daily medications that she needed, she was easy. She preferred to nap on the couch all day.
A few weeks after the ducks arrival a few other things came to light. The previous fall we had decided to replace a fence but time was not on our side and winter set in before we could do it. After thinking about it more over the winter we realized that the garden area – which would be north of the fence – would be affected. Half the year it would be in shade, not a good prospect for someone who does winter gardening. After weighing our options the decision was made to ‘move the garden’. The job was a big one. After being in the house for 10 years, we had built the soil up, which made it approximately 5 inches higher then the grass that surrounded it. The old garden area would need to be leveled off, the new garden prepped, and in the end I spent a good portion of time moving grass from the new garden to the old. We also decided to enlarge the garden (a woohoo moment for me!) but that just made more work.
And the fluffy new additions that we now had would be needing a home outside – so a duck house was needed. Our old dog kennel was a good run, but it was a storage area at the time – so everything in it, needed a new home. A lean-to was planned for extra storage. During this time of crazy we also planted trees, started plants for the upcoming season, kept working full time and homeschooled. Our life had become very complicated – very quickly…
The clock showed 4:45am. The house was quiet, the bed was warm and comfy, and I was wide awake. I should be asleep or at least reveling in half sleep for at least a couple more hours before I had to get up. So why was I awake? If anything, I should be tired. Long days and late nights had been wearing at my body. I needed rest, but it wasn’t coming. My mind was racing and something deep down was prodding me. Since sleep wasn’t coming the next best thing would be to get up and get coffee.
I decided to have coffee on our back step to enjoy the sunrise, and that’s when I realized ‘I’ve lost my balance’. Looking around it wasn’t hard to see why. There were things to do everywhere. Lots of things to do. And our typical busy spring had become overloaded to the point of toppling. And out of the blue came a quote from the tv show ‘Frasier’ – “Oh, what a lovely burden”. Smiling at the absurdity I knew it had a bit of truth. The Lord gave us everything, blessed me with the very things that I found to be a burden, and in turn throwing me out of balance.
The day before I had been reading 1 John and had come to the last verse “…keep yourselves from idols.”. Looking around I realized that all these things I had ‘to do’ had become my idol. My mind constantly thought about them, our families’ lives revolved around them…everything else had become second. I had taken all the ‘lovely’ things that God had so graciously blessed me with and made them a burden. I wasn’t happy, and I was growing increasingly tired.
Looking around, the trees seemed to dance in the breeze. The birds chirped their happy songs. And I realized that I had been in the wrong. I asked God to forgive me for letting everything take over and asked for His guidance and help as we continued on. And I know He will, for “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:13
Have a lovely day!